Neo Abuse

"The demonstrative avoidance and downright negation of the entirety of our humanity as demonstrated by radical non-duality, is the single-most harmful aspect…leaving wide-open-the-door for actual abuse"

Looking back it finally makes sense, in learning about how cults, narcissistic gurus and mind control works, that neo-advaita de-programs your mind (un-conditions) and re-programs it without us realizing it. "part of recovery for me has been facing my rejection of and re-evaluating of my pre-enlightenment beliefs. In recovery I felt I had no belief system left, because what I had originally believed in was so tarnished and spoilt." Such as, that self-expression, and aspiring to fulfill personal potential is a beautiful thing.

"Anything that seems suspect is interpreted as “resistance”, “ego” or “mind."

"If it’s just a self-obsessed search for freedom, without an ethical or moral dimension, without compassion, service and love, then it’s worthless and de-humanising."

Fact is that a lot of people who come to neo-advaita have mental health issues, often severe. It makes sense that they would be drawn to anything that promises quick radical freedom from suffering, and will especially comfortable with being belittled if tehy grew up being demeaned already,.

"I would go so far as to suggest that any system whatsoever that postulates a level of attainment where a human being can regard conventional ethics and boundaries temporary way stations on the upward ascent to Realization is a system that will become a factory that will inevitably produce "realized beings" who are impulse driven toddlers in adult bodies."

"This belief system and the misleading romance that enshrouds it and brings it hopeful aspirants *innoculates* good people with rottenness -- and attracts predators who smell opportunity."

"This is a travesty of huge proportions and there is no real accountability for this treachery due to the predominant western arrogance and deep-seated belief that instant effortless enlightenment is real—the great season of the lie propagated by the Neo Advaita satsang movement that has lulled so many into a delusional belief they are enlightened masters or the pervasive delusion that you can instantly jump off the ancient karmic wheel of samsara in less than a finger snap. This belief is arrogantly defended in snobby neo satsang circles, and endlessly discussed as radical rogue neo enlightenment that works. This strokes the collective ego with its esoteric garbage presented as the absolute truth and sets the stage for continued abuse with no accountability."

Any person, ideology, or structure that in the short run undermines a person’s self trust is part of the problem
We should be very wary of any person, ideology, that undermine a person’s self trust.
What’s happening is exactly this: radical non-dualists and their ideology intend to undermine a person’s self trust.

Whether people are trying to help, or start out well intentioned, the Neo-Advaita formula and system is inherently flawed and dangerous and people being harmed by it is just inevitable. It's not just a few bad apples.

Humiliation, negating, and criticizing

Someone abusing you may use different tactics to undermine your self-esteem.
Examples include:

Name-calling and derogatory nicknames. They’ll blatantly call you “stupid,” “a loser,” "ignorant" or use other insults.
Character assassination. This usually involves the word “always.” You’re always late, wrong, screwing up, disagreeable, and so on. They might say these things to you, or use them to describe your behavior to others.
Yelling. Screaming, yelling, and swearing can intimidate you and make you feel small and inconsequential. Maybe they never hit you, but they do pound their fist, throw things, or damage property.
Patronizing. They belittle you by saying things like, “I know you try, but this is just beyond the scope of your "little me."
Public embarrassment. They pick fights, or make fun of your shortcomings in public.
Dismissiveness. You share something important to you and they reply with, “What? Who cares about that?” Body language like eye rolling, smirking, head shaking, and sighing help convey the same message.
Belittling your accomplishments. They brush off your achievements, saying they don’t matter, or claim responsibility for your successes.
Putting down your interests. They suggest your hobby is a waste of time.

Invalidating you. They might suggest or say straight out that your needs, boundaries, and desires don’t matter to them

Emotional neglect and isolation
Someone abusing you will generally try to get you to neglect your needs.

Dehumanizing you.

Shutting down communication. They might wave you off, change the subject, or simply ignore you when you want to talk about important concerns.
Denying support. When you need emotional support or help with a problem, they might call you needy

-rejection and dismissal, constantly rejecting your thoughts, ideas and opinions, and constantly dismissing you and your feelings
-ignoring personal boundaries - downplaying their importance
-humiliation
-derogatory nicknames
-name calling
-negating

Recovery

These tips offer a place to start:

Don’t try to fix them. You may want to help, but it’s often difficult for abusive people to change their behavior without professional support. You can encourage them to work with a therapist, but they have to make the choice themselves.
Avoid self-blame. Remember, you never deserve abuse, no matter what you’ve said or done. The only person responsible is the one engaging in abusive behavior.
Prioritize your needs. Taking care of your physical and emotional needs can help you move forward to a place where you feel comfortable setting boundaries, reaching out for support, and leaving the abusive situation.
Avoid engaging with them. Don’t reply to their text messages, phone calls, or emails. If you can’t avoid working or spending time with them, try to keep another person with you and limit your conversation to essential topics.
Set personal boundaries. Decide how you’ll avoid responding to manipulation or getting pulled into arguments. Express those limits to the person using abuse tactics and stick to them. You might say, for example, “If you call me names, I’ll go home,” or, “If you start teasing me in public, I’ll leave.”
Build a support network. It might feel frightening to open up about what you’ve experienced, but reaching out to loved ones and a supportive therapist can go a long way toward helping you get the support you need to heal.
Exit the relationship or circumstance. State clearly that the relationship is over and cut all ties, if possible. Block their number and social media accounts, and ignore attempts to reach out.
Give yourself time to heal. Take space to focus on your needs and recovery. This might involve rediscovering your sense of self, creating a new self-care routine, and talking with a therapist who can offer guidance with recovery.

Dismiss your feelings or claim you’re too sensitive.
Isolate you from family and friends.
Make you doubt yourself or feel ashamed.
Call you names.

Attempts to explain the shadows of the Neo-Advaita phenomenon

It's a new-age spiritual landscape made up of a mis-appropriated high-level Eastern enlightenment teaching meant to permanently destroy one's sense of self (and end the cycle of death and re-birth), commercialized by middle-aged Western (mostly) men as "instant-enlightenment" with an essential message that your are not a person - you don't actually exist and neither does the material world, and once you destroy these beliefs along with your nefarious ego, you'll be permanently free from suffering. Naturally it's become a breeding ground people who have had a genuine awakening experience (but no more psychologically evolved than their followers) becoming pre-mature teachers, and self-appointed authorities on enlightenment r narc complex trauma dynamics played out on the satsang stage, and both positive experiences of transcendence as well as DP/DR and a long list of other tragic harmful side effects that destroy the live and mental health of thousands of people.