"No self, no suffering?"
People drawn to utopian claims that romanticize the loss of self must know that they are profoundly misleading, and how permanently eroding your individual, personal sense of self can take away certain forms of suffering, but frequently leads to new forms of it that can be lasting and severe. The pursuit itself damages many, as well as succeeding - for some it's a pyrrhic victory when they realize the true cost of what they paid for impersonal equanimity was far too much of their precious souls and humanity.
People drawn to utopian claims that romanticize the loss of self must know that they are profoundly misleading, and how permanently eroding your individual, personal sense of self can take away certain forms of suffering, but frequently leads to new forms of it that can be lasting and severe. The pursuit itself damages many, as well as succeeding - for some it's a pyrrhic victory when they realize the true cost of what they paid for impersonal equanimity was far too much of their precious souls and humanity.
While we hear often about the positive effects of dissolving one's personal identity and individual sense of self, there is an urgent need for increased awareness around the ways that people who seek as well as achieve a lasting loss of their self-sense are known to be harmfully impacted.
As Elizabeth Stephens writes in her research paper on the harmful effects of self-transcendence, "Few discuss its potential deleterious side effects, choosing to focus primarily on positive effects. However, anything with sufficient potency to heal may have unintended side effects, especially when it leads beyond a transitory state to becoming an enduring trait."
Additionally, her findings led her to suggest that a total loss of self may not be "the pinnacle of human development" and wellbeing it is commonly portrayed as in nondual spirituality, and that we must exercise caution in believing it to be/ presenting it as such, and take a more balanced view of the costs and benefits.
As Elizabeth Stephens writes in her research paper on the harmful effects of self-transcendence, "Few discuss its potential deleterious side effects, choosing to focus primarily on positive effects. However, anything with sufficient potency to heal may have unintended side effects, especially when it leads beyond a transitory state to becoming an enduring trait."
Additionally, her findings led her to suggest that a total loss of self may not be "the pinnacle of human development" and wellbeing it is commonly portrayed as in nondual spirituality, and that we must exercise caution in believing it to be/ presenting it as such, and take a more balanced view of the costs and benefits.
Ironically, and tragically, believing in this notion has led to so much suffering! The allure of the "no self, no suffering" message claimed by self-negating nonduality, and in specific, modern instant enlightenment purveyors, stems from two primary motivations: freedom from suffering and the quest for ultimate truth. However, this claim is gravely flawed because losing one's sense of self, because despite the utopian promises, it often leads to new forms of suffering, and it does not reveal The Ultimate Truth, but rather one unique perspective of reality. There is a third motivation/promise tied to this claim however, and this one certainly can be delivered by a no-self experience: a dramatic shift in perception that is astounding and often comes with a profound sense of temporary relief. But it's essential for people to be sober about the fact that the erosion of ones sense of self does not lead to permanent liberation from suffering (nor does it represent the highest level of human wellbeing and development!) or the ultimate truth, and whether it will even enhances your wellbeing in the long term depends entirely on a multitude of factors. Knowing this can hopefully help people who are understandably drawn, as I was, to this grossly simplistic notion, to think twice before being deceived by those who perpetuate the myth that the loss of one's sense of self whether described as ego death, ego dissolution, self-transcendence etc. is a panacea, and resist the pressure to disappear from their own lives, "dying to the self" in exchange for deliverance from "ignorance" of the Absolute Truth.
I would rather face sometimes feeling trapped in my humanity, than to feel permanently trapped outside of it, as I did after my honeymoon phase with ego dissolution revealed the true cost of what I'd paid for impersonal equanimity, for untethering my soul from it's humanity.
There are many ways that ego dissolution paths can help you when you're suffering, they can provide profound relief, but filled with landmines, Neo-Advaita's territory of radical self-negation takes too many casualites, and not just among those who don't "make it" to the no-mans' land beyond themselves. Success in eroding your sense of self in exchange for detached equanimity is truly a double-edged sword, that relieves some forms of suffering, but has a pattern of perpetuating others and creating unexpected and tragic new forms of it. While it's not the case for everyone, there are so many who do experience radical freedom in the absence of their personal self, and find their lives positively transformed in significant ways, yet come to find at some point that their ego dissolution "self-defeat" is a kind of pyrrhic victory, in which the gains are outweighed by the cost they've paid. Many folks realize that they've made a sort of deal with the devil, gaining forms of inner peace and clarity, but ultimately sacrificing too much of their precious humanity. It can be a profound conundrum that leaves people wishing to re(dis)cover vital lost pieces of their souls, and many make an arduous journey down the mountain, up from the bottom of the sea, back to the fullness of their humanity, in a new way. Though it was a decision fraught with conflict, I chose to find a path of sacred return to my personhood, and both the harrowing challenges and profound revelations I experienced during this period of my life, inspire me to try to help others who are doing, or wish to do this, including building a community who will be waiting here for them, to share in the process of reviving their individual vitality, breathing life back into one another so that we may restore the fullness of our so very precious humanity!
There are many ways that ego dissolution paths can help you when you're suffering, they can provide profound relief, but filled with landmines, Neo-Advaita's territory of radical self-negation takes too many casualites, and not just among those who don't "make it" to the no-mans' land beyond themselves. Success in eroding your sense of self in exchange for detached equanimity is truly a double-edged sword, that relieves some forms of suffering, but has a pattern of perpetuating others and creating unexpected and tragic new forms of it. While it's not the case for everyone, there are so many who do experience radical freedom in the absence of their personal self, and find their lives positively transformed in significant ways, yet come to find at some point that their ego dissolution "self-defeat" is a kind of pyrrhic victory, in which the gains are outweighed by the cost they've paid. Many folks realize that they've made a sort of deal with the devil, gaining forms of inner peace and clarity, but ultimately sacrificing too much of their precious humanity. It can be a profound conundrum that leaves people wishing to re(dis)cover vital lost pieces of their souls, and many make an arduous journey down the mountain, up from the bottom of the sea, back to the fullness of their humanity, in a new way. Though it was a decision fraught with conflict, I chose to find a path of sacred return to my personhood, and both the harrowing challenges and profound revelations I experienced during this period of my life, inspire me to try to help others who are doing, or wish to do this, including building a community who will be waiting here for them, to share in the process of reviving their individual vitality, breathing life back into one another so that we may restore the fullness of our so very precious humanity!
The imbalanced world of either/or and the opposite extreme formula
The imbalanced world of either/or and the opposite extreme formula
Constructive Critiques & Reflections on Either/or non-dualisms
Constructive Critiques & Reflections on Either/or non-dualisms
When Non-dual Teachings Are Not Non-dual Chapter from Spiritual Bypassing by Robert Augustus Masters
10 Less-than-wholesome Aspects of Neo (Pseudo) Advaita - Timothy Conway
What Makes Neo-Advaita Cult-Like? - Timothy Conway (with my commentary)
Neo-Advaita or Pseudo Advaita vs. Traditional Advaita - Timothy Conway
On Neo-Advaita - Jeff Foster
Neo-Advaita De-Mystified: A Critique - Shawn Nevins
The Numinous Narcotic that Nearly Destroyed My Life - Tom Huston
The Healthy Ego is Beautiful / Patriarchal Spirituality - Jeff Brown
How Neo-Advaita Emulates Messages of Narcissistic Caregivers - Michael Lydon
Oneness, Enlightenment and the Mystical Experience - Chapter from The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Powers
A Constructive Critique of Non-dual Spiritual Teachings Chapter from The Presence of the Infinite by Steve Mcintosh
Self-ishly Losing Oneself - Chapter from What's it All About? Philosophy and the Meaning of Life by Julian Baggini
Beyond Essence: A New Path to Awakening - Essay by Jason Shulman
Relational Spirituality, Paradise Unbound: Cosmic Hybridity & Spiritual Narcissism in the “One Truth” of New Age Transpersonalism
-Academic paper by Gregg Lahood from The Journal of Transpersonal Studies
Cutting the Knot of the World Problem: Sri Aurobindo’s Experiential and Philosophical Critique of Advaita Vedānta - Swami Medhananda
The Dualism of Non-Dualism: Advaita Vedanta and the Irrelevance of Nature - Lance E. Nelson
A Critique of Perennialism - Problems with Enlightenment, Gurus and Meditation - Gary Stogsdill
Is Advaita Just Loving Nihilism? — Nonduality, Science and Meaninglessness - Anonymous, Reality Maps
Why an Experience of "Pure Consciousness" Says Little About Reality - Brian Hines
Encounters with the Absolute - Have you pooped today? - Jason Shulman excerpt
The Dangerous Art of Depersonalization - What psychedelics, psychosis, and mindfulness can teach us about no-self, and why set and setting play such an important role in ego deconstruction - Alex Tzelnic
Turning Subjective States into Social Hierarchies - Why Spiritual Communities Turn Into Cults - Hanzi Freinacht
Excerpts from Blowing the Whistle on Enlightenment Blog - Bronte Baxter
Relevant Research Studies
Losing Oneself: Persistent Nonduality, Depersonalization, Dissociation, Mental Health, and Memory - Elizabeth Stephens
Complexities and Challenges of Nonduality - Elizabeth Stephens
I Have This Feeling of not Really Being Here - Buddhist Meditation and Changes in Sense of Self - Jared R. Lindahl & Willoughby B. Britton
10 Less-than-wholesome Aspects of Neo (Pseudo) Advaita - Timothy Conway
What Makes Neo-Advaita Cult-Like? - Timothy Conway (with my commentary)
Neo-Advaita or Pseudo Advaita vs. Traditional Advaita - Timothy Conway
On Neo-Advaita - Jeff Foster
Neo-Advaita De-Mystified: A Critique - Shawn Nevins
The Numinous Narcotic that Nearly Destroyed My Life - Tom Huston
The Healthy Ego is Beautiful / Patriarchal Spirituality - Jeff Brown
How Neo-Advaita Emulates Messages of Narcissistic Caregivers - Michael Lydon
Oneness, Enlightenment and the Mystical Experience - Chapter from The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Powers
A Constructive Critique of Non-dual Spiritual Teachings Chapter from The Presence of the Infinite by Steve Mcintosh
Self-ishly Losing Oneself - Chapter from What's it All About? Philosophy and the Meaning of Life by Julian Baggini
Beyond Essence: A New Path to Awakening - Essay by Jason Shulman
Relational Spirituality, Paradise Unbound: Cosmic Hybridity & Spiritual Narcissism in the “One Truth” of New Age Transpersonalism
-Academic paper by Gregg Lahood from The Journal of Transpersonal Studies
Cutting the Knot of the World Problem: Sri Aurobindo’s Experiential and Philosophical Critique of Advaita Vedānta - Swami Medhananda
The Dualism of Non-Dualism: Advaita Vedanta and the Irrelevance of Nature - Lance E. Nelson
A Critique of Perennialism - Problems with Enlightenment, Gurus and Meditation - Gary Stogsdill
Is Advaita Just Loving Nihilism? — Nonduality, Science and Meaninglessness - Anonymous, Reality Maps
Why an Experience of "Pure Consciousness" Says Little About Reality - Brian Hines
Encounters with the Absolute - Have you pooped today? - Jason Shulman excerpt
The Dangerous Art of Depersonalization - What psychedelics, psychosis, and mindfulness can teach us about no-self, and why set and setting play such an important role in ego deconstruction - Alex Tzelnic
Turning Subjective States into Social Hierarchies - Why Spiritual Communities Turn Into Cults - Hanzi Freinacht
Excerpts from Blowing the Whistle on Enlightenment Blog - Bronte Baxter
Relevant Research Studies
Losing Oneself: Persistent Nonduality, Depersonalization, Dissociation, Mental Health, and Memory - Elizabeth Stephens
Complexities and Challenges of Nonduality - Elizabeth Stephens
I Have This Feeling of not Really Being Here - Buddhist Meditation and Changes in Sense of Self - Jared R. Lindahl & Willoughby B. Britton
"The wish to lose oneself, however well-intentioned, often masks a mind-set dominated by self-judgment and self-deprecation. It is often just another way of trying to find a safe place to hide, replacing a troubled self with something perfect and unassailable."
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