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"Many spiritual paths ask us to leave the ego, our personal sense of self, behind. The problem is not the ego, but that it doesn't see how beautiful it truly is!" |
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Friends,
We desperately need a new humanistic spiritual framework, an alternative to either/or self and world-negating nonduality that celebrates the preciousness of our interconnected individuality rather than its' destruction! One that inspires all dimensions of our humanity to flourish, and revels in the both/and paradox of being both separate and one, unified as individuals. One that compels us to commune with our surroundings and one another as unividuals, and enthusiastically participate in the profound mystery of this bittersweet, miraculously real world!
One in which the aim is not to get back to our "true nature" as changeless, formless Being, but to explore how our experience transforms when the stunning mystery of reality is the evolutionary process of Being becoming, when we create meaning by delighting in and choosing how to participate, how to contribute to its' blossoming towards greater compassion, interconnection, and reverence for the preciousness of existence. Where we open our apertures to behold the greater context of what we are a part of, and by placing our collective human existence within it, this wider more transcendent view reveals more significance (and what is most significant to us) in the particulars, rather than trivializing them! Where instead of reacting to impermanence with detachment and hardened disaffectedness, we choose to savor the fleeting more fully, letting our hearts break open so we can be more deeply touched and enlivened by the poignance of what is ephemeral. Where the goal is not so much "liberation" from suffering, but freedom to feel fully human and alive.
One in which we need not make a false binary choice between seeming opposites like spirit and matter, the personal and universal, to experience profound mystery because we know we are both, always. Where we don’t have to disappear and lose ourselves for oneness, but know ourselves as a part of it, evolving and healing our egos rather than eroding our minds and discarding our personhood. This is a new philosophy and experience that has at its' heart the both/and of uniduality, and the evolutionary process of Being becoming, and everyone is invited to play a part in its' unfolding.
While I bring my own unique perspective to this both/and framework, it has been inspired by a few precious individuals, including Tim Freke and Jason Shulman, who also experienced the tragic pitfalls of self-abandoning and world-denying nonduality, who helped me rescue the ego, and deconstruct either/or nonduality, re-building myself/the world without reifying the unreal, instead re-realizing what had always been real, in a new way, shining with more poignant splendor than ever. I hope to compel others to explore this humanistic, optimistic and awe-inspiring both/and perspective with myself and others!
One in which the aim is not to get back to our "true nature" as changeless, formless Being, but to explore how our experience transforms when the stunning mystery of reality is the evolutionary process of Being becoming, when we create meaning by delighting in and choosing how to participate, how to contribute to its' blossoming towards greater compassion, interconnection, and reverence for the preciousness of existence. Where we open our apertures to behold the greater context of what we are a part of, and by placing our collective human existence within it, this wider more transcendent view reveals more significance (and what is most significant to us) in the particulars, rather than trivializing them! Where instead of reacting to impermanence with detachment and hardened disaffectedness, we choose to savor the fleeting more fully, letting our hearts break open so we can be more deeply touched and enlivened by the poignance of what is ephemeral. Where the goal is not so much "liberation" from suffering, but freedom to feel fully human and alive.
One in which we need not make a false binary choice between seeming opposites like spirit and matter, the personal and universal, to experience profound mystery because we know we are both, always. Where we don’t have to disappear and lose ourselves for oneness, but know ourselves as a part of it, evolving and healing our egos rather than eroding our minds and discarding our personhood. This is a new philosophy and experience that has at its' heart the both/and of uniduality, and the evolutionary process of Being becoming, and everyone is invited to play a part in its' unfolding.
While I bring my own unique perspective to this both/and framework, it has been inspired by a few precious individuals, including Tim Freke and Jason Shulman, who also experienced the tragic pitfalls of self-abandoning and world-denying nonduality, who helped me rescue the ego, and deconstruct either/or nonduality, re-building myself/the world without reifying the unreal, instead re-realizing what had always been real, in a new way, shining with more poignant splendor than ever. I hope to compel others to explore this humanistic, optimistic and awe-inspiring both/and perspective with myself and others!
The glorious both/and is how I describe the most powerful and important shift on my return path from self-negating nonduality. Its' what healed the false divide between spirit and matter that is tragically central to either/or nonduality, so that I could bring the transcendent down from the mountaintop into the immanent. It represents the paradox of both/and uniduality, and a precious turning point where I not only saw that oneness and separateness were both real, but that they, like all opposites, are co-arising and inextricably interwoven, never mutually exclusive! When reality came rushing back 1,000 fold, shining in a new light. It's a kind reminder of our folly in thinking we can see the entire picture by tearing it in two, and that there will never be wholeness when there's something to exclude. That a fully human path may not be one of "liberation" from suffering, but of freedom to be fully human, and of how much we let our hearts break open to include. And that our world of wonders is the ground of Being blooming, and that you and I are the universe getting to know itself as human. As unividuals, individuals who know we are both separate and one with each other. And it's at the heart of the way I want to experience life with you💓
Dangers of Self-Negating Spirituality
I hope to grow a missing conversation about the harmful impacts of ego dissolution and how our understandable attraction to the promise of liberation via self negation, i.e. "no self, no suffering," has, despite every moment of boundless bliss and oceanic relief, also tragically led to more suffering. Despite experiencing profound liberation, after several years into my own nondual ego dissolution path, I saw with shocking clarity the extent to which I'd become a frightening empty shell of a person who had tragically sacrificed too much of her precious humanity for impersonal equanimity. The indescribable tragedy of this realization, and the arduous path of sacred return to my personhood and vitality, compels me to join in revealing, with compassion and discernment the misguided elements of self/world-denying philosophy and the ways that trying to eradicate the ego/our personal sense of self in the name of oneness and 'enlightenment' is separating us from one another and leading us further into the dark. Not just because of my own experience, but because of the heart-breaking ways that teaching permanent ego dissolution as a panacea, has led to injuring countless other hearts, minds and souls, including driving many to suicide. I never imagined there were so many people out there negatively impacted by self-negating nondual teachings, but the more I looked into it, the frightening reality was that there are thousands, if not millions, and I now hear from them every few days. Read first-hand accounts.
This makes it so urgent to reach people seeking the permanent loss of self with an understanding of the risks of ego death teachings that encourage us, when we're at our worst, to throw our individuality away. And to support with evidence, why the permanent loss of self identity must not be misrepresented as a panacea, and as the ultimate stage of development/wellbeing. Hear more of my story in my interview on BATGAP here:
"You don't get to oneness by erasing yourself,
that would be oneness with a hole in it!"
- Tim Freke
that would be oneness with a hole in it!"
- Tim Freke
A New Way Forward While it's urgently important, we can't just deconstruct de-humanizing self and world negating paradigms, we have to be for something new and co-create a more compelling paradigm! I'll be recording conversations with those who are exploring unity of diversity paradigms that value us as miraculously real individuals within a fundamentally relational oneness, and that heal the age-old split between spirit and matter. Ones that uplift us with a sense of wonder for this epic mystery, and help us open up our hearts to suffering with more compassion for ourselves and empathic solidarity with one another. Ones discovering new (or old-new) ways to reveal significance to our existence that can inspire deeply engaged immersion in it, and even contribute to a more loving, awe-infused, and inter-connected world.