When non-duality cancels relationship

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 "You are not looking at the sky, you are the sky. You're not touching the earth, you are the earth."

I heard statements like this so often in non-relational, either/or non-duality, where you can only be this or that, that hasn't embraced the paradox of both/and. If you are not touching the earth but simply are the earth, you don't get to have personal contact with it. You negate your experience of relationship with the world when you have to negate yourself to become it. But you can be both a person touching the earth, and the earth itself, in a uni-dual relationship, and a most precious paradoxical one! Non-dual relationship, in which subject are not just separates, and not just one, more more than one. Now the universe gets to experience being in relationship with itself in/as all the different ways it's come to express itself! 

No need for anything to dissolve, only a oneness of multiplicity to be realized. In my experience, dissolving completely into something or many things at once, so that you lose all sense of distinctness and individuality is not intimacy, it's an experience of disappearing and merging into a non-relational oneness,  without with-ness. When you experience being two individuals who are also one, you can feel something different from ordinary connection or undifferentiated merging, a  feeling of communion, in which self and other become the one as two. 

Different from regular connecting, "what you're communing with, you're also one with." I don't have to lose myself, my particularity, individuality, to become a tree, a dog, the woman gazing in my eyes, neither of us are excluded, instead, it's like what I take to be myself expands to include them. I can take the world into me, without it negating me. And this has changed everything