No self-compassion in self-negation

Why is it so hard to find pointers towards self-compassion in most modern non-dual circles? Because they are founded on denying the self that you'd be showing compassion towards, of course, and on putting  the "impersonal" on a pedestal while condemning and stigmatizing those who perceive and value any degree of individual selfhood  as delusional idiots. Of course self-compassion would sound like a joke in this case, even heresy. This kind of self-rejecting pseudo non-duality seeks to divide and conquer - carving out the sense of a personal self and smashing it to pieces. Of course there's no room for self-compassion here. But there's an abundance of it in non-dual views that perceive the universe, god/absolute as expressing itself as the manifest world, including the real experience of being a person with painful emotional experiences worthy of compassion, not damnation. A view in which the personal and universal, the transcendent and immanent, are entangled lovers, two sides of the same coin of a reality in which the manifest world and personal sphere aren't bull-dozed by a stand-alone "absolute" or placed below it on a hierarchical non-dual totem pole.  Aggression towards the self that automatically negates relationship has no space for the self-compassion that is needed to hold space for the wounded parts of our selves, and collective shadow, with kindness, instead of dropping them like non-existent hot potatoes beneath the floorboards of faux- enlightened consciousness. We need more people to speak up about teachings that call themselves non-dual yet split us and pit us against ourselves. If everyone on earth has a spiritual awakening today, it won't make the world a better place unless they wake up and grow up, which means taking responsibility for healing ourselves and helping one another heal too. We can't do that unless we believe in our own essential validity, and that we ourselves are worthy of our own love.