Creating a self-rejecting god

When I feel viscerally that every time-bound phenomenon is a real manifestation of god (use your preferred language) not a concealment of it, that every thing is a real evolved expression of the ground of Being, the felt sense of these trans-immanent truths return...

whatever I do, I am doing as god / god is doing as me
as a real expression of god, among other expressions of god 

whatever I do to myself, I'm also doing to god / god is doing to itself

They transform my experience in a dramatically humble way, and I see that while you and I are both participating in our experience of god, god is simultaneously participating in itself, as you and me.

What hits with tragic clarity is that every time I was ticking off a box on reductionist non-duality's "to do away with" list, I was participating in creating a story and experience of a universe that evolves  and emerges into personhood, only to abandon it own humanity. In my turning away from my personhood the universe had evolved to reject parts of its' own humanity. Seen in this way, my disposition immediately softens into tender-heartedness, a softness that carries untold strength!

When I see in this way, I am ceaselessly shocked by how mobilizing it is to see god's weaknesses. Transimmanence, the transcendent embodied as humam, brings an unexpected gift -  extraordinary motivation in knowing that when I heal my relationship with myself, I'm helping heal god's (human) relationship with itself. Making positive changes, and learning to love myself, is never more poignant and possible than when I know I'm helping create a universe that has evolved to embrace and love itself  as big little me.