Creating a self-rejecting god

When I feel viscerally that every time-bound phenomenon is a real manifestation of god (use your preferred language) not a concealment of it, that every thing is god evolved into a relationship with itself, the felt sense of these transimmanent truths return...

whatever I do, I am doing as god / god is doing as me
as a real expression of god, among other expressions of god 

whatever I do, I'm also doing to god / god is doing to itself
whether it's to myself or something/someone else

They transform my experience in a dramatically humble way, and I see that while you and I are both participating in our experience of god, god is simultaneously participating in itself, as you and me.

What hits with tragic clarity is that every time I was ticking off a box on reductionist non-duality's "to do away with" list, I was participating in creating the experience of a self-rejecting god. All three were true: I was rejecting my self, I was rejecting god, and god, as me, was rejecting itself. Seen in this way, my disposition immediately softens into tender-heartedness, a softness that carries untold strength!

I am responsible for my relationship with the world and there are times when I remember this with dismay, and other times with the thrill of self-empowerment. But when what's mine is god's, I am ceaselessly shocked by how mobilizing it is to see god's weaknesses. Transimmanence brings an unexpected gift -  extraordinary motivation in knowing that when I heal my relationship with myself, I'm helping heal god's (human) relationship with itself. Making positive changes, and learning to love myself, is never more poignant and possible than when I know I'm helping create a god that loves itself, as me.